Dear Husband, A letter to my Hero

Dear Marcello,

We were married July 23rd 2017, just barely a year after we met. Pretty much since I met you I knew you would be mine. We have a chemistry that lights a room up, and a love that makes others long for a camaraderie like ours. Unfortunately, our partnership was placed on the fast track, there was very little time to think or plan, as we faced our first (and hopefully last for a long time) – real life challenge together, breast cancer.

“Are you really going to go through with this with her?”

“Well of course, I love her.”

Our union was rushed for the sake of insurance, yours was better than mine. You wanted me to receive the best care available. You wanted to help me. You’ve always been kind that way, altruistic and loving. You have a gift for encouragement and a heart full of gold.

We have probably had the toughest months newly weds would ever have to face with me still recovering from surgery, fertility treatments, five month of chemotherapy and eventually radiation. It is exhausting. You didn’t have to be there for me, but you chose to anyway, and despite all our hardships you come home everyday with a smile on your face, showering my bald head with your sweet kisses.

I feel beautiful when I thought I would feel ugly. In fact, thanks to you, I have never felt ugly through this.

You look at me in my darkest hour like I am the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. When I cry you make me laugh. When I am tired you nurture me with snuggles and snacks. When I am lonely you call my friends secretly and invite them over to surprise me. You are more of a man than I could have ever asked for.

I know this experience hurts you too. You do a good job at hiding it, with a smile on your face you smother me in humor and affection, distracting us both from the elephant that has moved into our room. But I know it’s hard. I see though your mask and see the worry on your face, the grief on your shoulders, the loneliness you must feel as my rock. I appreciate all of this. You made sacrifices in your life for me and I am grateful that you chose to continue this journey by my side, especially knowing that it was going to be hard.

When it is finally over, we will truly be unbreakable. Everything else will be easy.

Forever yours,
Caitlin

us

Submitted by: Caitlin James @coulda.woulda

Image for blog header by Akshar Dave on Unsplash

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