The stranger in the mirror – Alison De Mars


My sixth treatment – the second round with docetaxel – went very well. What’s weird is that despite an increased dose (from 75 to 85), the body pain wasn’t as bad as the first round, although the fatigue hung around a little longer. However, a new side effect hit me: chemo burn, which is basically like a bad, patchy sunburn. The skin on my left cheek was really red, sore and chapped. A friend of mine helped me out with a bunch of products for super-sensitive skin, for which I am extremely grateful. Hopefully they’ll help my skin survive the next round without too much trouble. I really don’t want to have to switch substances with only two treatments left.

Looking at myself in the mirror these days isn’t much fun. My brows and lashes are almost gone, and I’m really tired of being bald. I feel faceless and puffy, and the skin reaction hasn’t exactly helped. I know it’s all for a good reason, and a bit of makeup helps a lot (more on that later), but it still doesn’t make it easier to see my face in the bathroom mirror each morning.

Up until now I haven’t been using my wig – I can’t really explain why, just that it hasn’t felt natural – but yesterday I decided to try it out for a dinner with my Finnish cousins. And it was nice feeling a bit normal for the first time in a while, with my signature bangs that I’m so used to having. So I’ll be using my wig more now, and in the meantime I’m really looking forward to my next treatment because after that I ONLY HAVE ONE LEFT. And in one month, I’ll be feeling better, and on my way to getting my hair, lashes and brows back for good.


Source: Breathing Under Water

Photo credit: Photo by on Unsplash

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